How To Cope With Being Away From Your Adoptive Children During The Holidays

The holiday season is upon us, and for many it is a time of happiness, peace, and an opportunity to connect with loved ones. However, for parents who are in the process of adopting children, it can be a time of sadness and grief longing to be with your children but you can’t because their adoption has not been finalized yet. Depending on where your adoptive children are located, it might not be safe to travel to visit them if there is political instability, gang violence, etc. in the country where they reside. You have already missed important moments in their lives such as birthdays, their first day of school, and now you’re missing spending the holidays together as a family. This results in grief because it feels like you’re constantly losing precious moments in your adoptive children’s lives, and you don’t know when you will finally be with them.

To cope with these painful emotions, try using some of the techniques mentioned below:

1. Take Advantage of Today’s Technology: Today more than ever, people can stay connected from a distance. There are so many ways to communicate: email, texting, video, to name a few. Try to develop a consistent routine of communicating with your adoptive children in order to maintain an emotional bond with them.

2. Send a Care Package: Consider sending small care packages every so often. They need not be expensive items. Small items like your child’s favorite book, a stuffed animal, Legos, flavored lip gloss, action figures, and art supplies are easy to mail and inexpensive. You can also send a note or a card to let them know that you love them and are thinking of them.

3. Record Your Memories: When you are able to visit your adoptive children, don’t forget to take lots of pictures and video. Later on, you can send them a small album of your time together (McDowell, J., 2025)

4. Use visualization: Envision that there will come a day when your adoptive children’s adoption will be finalized, and you will be living together as a family. The pain you are experiencing now being away from them is temporary. Think about all the things you want to do with your adoptive children when they arrive, decorate their bedrooms, buy them clothes and toys to put in their bedrooms to remain hopeful.

In Dr. Lake’s book, “We Love You No Matter If You Are Near Or Far”, she provides a heartwarming story about adoption and the loving bond that adoptive parents form with their children. All children are blessings. No matter how they are a part of your life, whether through a biological connection or through adoption or fostering, they are precious gifts. They are your heartbeat, and you love them no matter if they are near or far.

Dr. Lake discusses coping skills that adoptive parents and children can use to deal with the emotional pain of being away from one another. It is a touching story about hope, love, and the strong bond between parents and their children.

We Love You No Matter If You Are Near Or Far is available on Amazon at the link below: We Love You No Matter If You Are Near Or Far: An Adoption Story

References

MacDowell, J. (2025). Long Distance Parenting: How to Stay Connected When Your Child Lives Far Away. Retrieved from https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/long-distance-parenting-how-to-stay-connected-when-your-child-lives-far-away/